# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
