The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
