He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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