make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
