he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Terrible idea I love it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
