when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
