I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
