and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
