After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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