So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
