Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
one two three fourrrrnication!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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