you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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