At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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