these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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