i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
