I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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