is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
