one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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