i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
