Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
