Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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