Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
