your parents love me but you hate me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
