i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
