quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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