Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
