I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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