i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
