My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
