we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
