So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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