You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
