I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Vodka?
Forever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
