Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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