I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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