So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
