All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
