Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
