don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
