Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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