last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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