i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
