well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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