Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
