shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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