True but thats because hes a fetus.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
