apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
