yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
