fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
