I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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